


What it takes to be a hero

by Katie237



Category: Arrow (TV 2012), DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV), Supergirl (TV 2015), The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: AU to Invasion, Barry gave himself up, Cisco has remorse for being angry at Barry, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Invasion! Crossover Event (CW DC TV Universe), Suspense
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-26
Updated: 2018-01-30
Packaged: 2018-12-07 07:57:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 14,372
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11619300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Katie237/pseuds/Katie237
Summary: AU from the last episode of the Dominators crossover. What if Barry decided that in order to ensure their victory, someone needed to infiltrate the ships and the best way to do it was by turning himself in?





	1. Where's Barry

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to my fic I started after the last big crossover. As much as I loved this crossover, it just felt too easy for me to see the Dominators just leave like that....and i'm also evil and really, really wanted to see Barry give himself up. So, I wrote this. Hope you'll enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it.

''We gotta do it fast. ''

The Green Arrow just waited there for an answer, anything, waiting for Barry to catch on to the speed pun he had just made, but the speedster just kept on looking down at the anti-Dominator Stein just gave to him without saying a word.

''What about the ships?'' Replied the speedster, causing all of Oliver, Stein and Felicity to frown.

''What do you mean?'' asked the young woman.

'''They're aliens, with spaceships, battle ships, don't you think they'll start to fire at us if we hurt their troops on the ground?''

The people surrounding him started looking at each other, nervously. Barry had a point and they thought about it, but in the time frame they had, there wasn't a lot that they could do about it. It was now or never. Time to fight, no looking back. Majority of the team was already on the field getting ready for the battle, ready to fight till the end, whether they win or lose.

''Felicity. '' He added, turning toward her. ''Didn't you say you and Cisco were working on something for that? When you worked on decrypting that device in Star City?''

The tech girl shrugged uncomfortably. ''Yeah we did, but Barry, there's no guarantee it's going to work.''

Oliver unconsciously made a step forward as he joined the conversation by speaking up. ''What isn't going to work? What are you talking about?''

''Cisco and I  _might_  have been working on a virus that could possibly disable the weapons system of the ship. In theory it would also affect the system shared by all the ships, but we had nothing to test this on. ''

''Great! Let's do it! '' The 'might' and 'possibly' passed right over Oliver's head, he knew the talent of this woman, especially when combine with Cisco's brilliant mind, if Felicity said it could work, it was going to. His thoughts were interrupted by Stein speaking up.

''How come it's the first time I hear about this?''

''Look, our virus isn't ready. And even  _if_  it works, and that's a big if, we haven't found a way to send it to the Dominators.''

''Can it be deliver directly in a ship? Would it affect them all?'' Asked Barry seriously, but the only one who actually noticed the expression of the young man was Oliver, as Stein seemed to only get excited at the prospect and started asking questions to the co-creator of the virus. Whenever the two of them were saying got lost on the archer.

''Barry…you're not thinking what I'm thinking, are you? ''

The speedster heard it, no doubt, his head slightly turning in the direction of his friend, in an almost imperceptible way, before returning his attention to the other two people, waiting for the answer to his question.

''So?'

''Well…theoretically, yeah.'' Quickly answered Felicity. ''Wait, why are you…''

''Give it to me!'' Interrupted Barry, extended his hand, hoping the tech girl had the virus' support in her pocket.

''What are you planning to do?''

No need to ask the question since Oliver already knew the answer. ''You're turning yourself in, again. '' It wasn't a question.

''You are?'' Half-shouted Felicity, her voice tone stuck midway between worry and anger. ''I thought we already had this chat!''

''It's not like that. I'm coming back this time.''

''Oh really? How?'' The archer was as practical as ever.

''I get in, sneak the virus in their system and get out. And the best way to get in is if I let them take me. ''

''I don't think this is wise Mr. Allen.'' It's not like anyone in the room didn't know that already, but Martin still felt like he needed to voice his opinion.

''Barry, we both know it's nothing but easy. What are you going to do if they have a way to block your powers? If they knock you out and put you into the same pods they me put me in? ''

''From which you escaped.''

''That's not the point, you have no idea what they'll do, if you'll have any opportunity to escape! How do you plan to sneak away?''

''There's no time for this! They're going to release a  _bomb_  anytime now! It's our only chance!''

''Barry. '' Tried Stein, knowing there were running out of the time, but not yet ready to risk his friend sacrificing himself. ''For all we know, they could all leave if we just use my weapon on all the ones coming on the ground. You don't have to do this. ''

''Barry, just promise me you're not doing this because you feel guilty about all of this.''

''Are you guys willing to take that risk? Willing to risk the lives of everyone on our team? Everyone on this planet?'' He reached once more with his hand, deliberately ignoring Oliver's last question and answering Stein's.

Oliver clenched his jaw; his friend was right and right now, Star City Vigilante was thinking with his heart, his feelings, not his logical mind. Their best chance at succeeding was taking a chance with the virus, even if mean for the speedster to have a slim to none survival chance. That was if he even had a chance to disable the ships' weapon system and all of this was resting on the theory that all of them were actually connected to each other.

It wasn't without mentioning the guilt that was already starting to build in the archer's chest. How was he going to be able to look into Cisco's eyes and tell him his newly reconciled friend ran to his death after all the pep talk. There was no way….but there also wasn't any other way. One thing there was no debating; there really was no time to discuss it and even less time to bring back all of the team. The choice was his to make.

Or at least that's what his guilty mind was telling him. To be fair, the only thing keeping the speedster with them right now was the fact he was waiting to know where the virus was and how he was supposed to send it.

*****FLASFLASHFLASH*****

As soon as Barry dropped him and Stein with the others, the speedster took off in his usual mix of yellow lightning and wind. In all the action and the life or death situation, a normal day at Central City, nobody noticed the missing man, but Oliver dreaded the moment the rest of the gang would notice, mentally crossing his fingers his friend in red would be back before that happened.

Before anyone had the chance to realize something was awry, the Dominators decided to drop their Metabomb and give the signal to start the fight. Ray was right, having Barry in custody or not didn't changed anything in their desire to take the Earth's Metas out of the picture. Nobody gave up an inch, fighting toe to toe with the aliens race while Supergirl was busy putting the weapon on each and everyone on them on the site before moving up for the other landed ships.

''This is a job for Supergirl. '' told Felicity to comms to which Oliver mentally corrected * _Supergirl and the Flash_ *, only to remember ….that.

Luckily, in the heat of the fight, no one realized that Felicity almost sold out the fact that the team was down by one man.

Moments later, here they were, watching the Dominators leave in a hurry, teleporting themselves back on the ship. For a tense second or two, it stayed at the same place.

''What's going on in there?'' Said Nate, tension in his voice.

At least, it wasn't firing at them, which was a good sign.

* _Come on Barry, come back to us_ * Thought Oliver.

''Ground, what's your status?'' Inquired Sara Lance to the comms.

''They're retreating!'' Screamed Heatwave, already celebrating.

''We did it.'' Smiled Kara, standing on the right side of the archer who wasn't saying a word, looking closely at the ship that was moving away. The sound almost completely covered by the global cheering erupting from every superhero on the rooftop, all of them, except Oliver. It wasn't until the cheering died that Kara finally made herself heard again.

''Wait...where's Barry?''


	2. Regrets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cisco comes back to the rest of the team to realize that Barry sacrificed himself.

''Was that amazing or what?'' excitedly shouted Cisco as he entered the hall, closely followed by a very emotionally tired, but happy, Sara who was glad that they were able to get the job done.

The first thing Cisco noticed was that everyone was either sitting, or supporting themselves on the wall, exhaustion striking their features. Not very surprising considering everything, they deserved their rest.

''Are all the ships gone?'' He asked Felicity who was silently typing behind her computer screen.

''Yeah...'' she said tiredly, no trace of rejoicing in her tone.

That's when the young engineer noted something was wrong. It wasn't just exhaustion, it was...sadness? Devastation? Grief?

''What's wr...''

Cisco froze mid-sentence, he didn't need to finish it. Scanning the room as he was talking, his mind immediately started to analyse who was there and the one person who wasn't. It couldn't be. They convinced him to stay, right? Unless something happened in the battle. His brain bombarded him with vivid pictures of the most horrific scenarios. The young man was too afraid to ask, there's no way he could lose the friend he just got back after being mad at him for more than long enough. Maybe, just maybe, he just got a bit banged up and he was already back at the lab with Caitlin taking care of him. But, if that was true, why nobody called him ahead to warn him? Why would anyone had this grieving face?

''Where's Barry?'' He finally found the strength to ask, dreading the answer.

Everyone looking at each other provided more than enough clues to confirm his hypothesis. It was finally Oliver who sighed and moved forward.

''He was aboard of the Dominator ship, he tried to...''

''NO!'' shouted the engineer, moving backward. ''Where is he?'' He repeated loudly, frantically looking around in deny.

''Cisco...'' Carefully started Felicity, sadness in her voice, moving passed Oliver and trying to grab Cisco's shoulder who dodged and moved another step back, out of reach. ''I'm sorry.''

Memories of earlier came rushing back, memories of the chat he had with Felicity when they were both aboard the Waverider.

' _You realized that's insane, right? You holding a grudge against your best friend when the world is potentially going to end_.' Felicity told him.

' _He's not my friend._ ' He remembered telling her back.

At that moment, it somehow didn't seem to matter, if the world was going to end. What now? He might have been angry at Barry, seriously pissed off at him, but he only now realized the reason why he couldn't forgive the young hero. The reason why he was so hurt by the whole situation was because he cared deeply about Barry, his friend and brother, and the hero's mistake felt like a betrayal at that time. Their bond has been put aside for what it felt like forever, even if had barely been a week since Cisco found out about the effect of Flashpoint had on his family, and now, he just lost his other brother and it just hurt so bad, like the world was about to split open under his feet.

Did Barry gave himself up because he thought it was what Cisco wanted? Because it was what everyone wanted him to do after the wrongs he's made? Because Barry thought he deserved what was coming to him?

Sure, Cisco and the rest of the team tried, and succeeded for a quick moment there, into talking the speedster out of sacrificing himself and the engineer told the Flash he was his friend, but was it too little, too late? Did Barry really believed he was forgiven? Especially after all the efforts Cisco put into sabotaging his leadership this week and push him away.

' _You killed my brother_.' He remembered accusing Barry last week.

And now, he just killed one too.

Head bowed down, tears rising in his eyes, he didn't even noticed Felicity closing in again until he had arms wrapped around him. Instantly, he wrapped his own arms around her, letting his head fell on her shoulder and let go of the tears, grossly sobbing the loss of his best friend. Both of them stayed like that in silence for a long time, oblivious of the funeral looks everyone was sending, observing the scene and just as unaware of Professor Stein approaching with a box in his hands.

Letting go of the embrace and wiping the tears to clear his vision, the young engineer took the box with shaking hands.

''What's this?''

''Mr. Allen gave us this before leaving, he said that if he never return, you should be the one having this. And that he's sorry for everything.''

Visibly swallowing, Cisco opened it, revealing the white and yellow symbol from the suit sending him sobbing again.

''It's my fault…I didn't have time to talk to him, to explain myself, he probably didn't believe me earlier...he died thinking that…''

Of all the people in the back, Kara was the first one to take a step forward.

''You can't put this all on you, Cisco.''

''She's right.'' Said Sara, joining her in front of the rest. ''Shouldn't have been so hard on him earlier when he told us about what he did. The truth is, I almost killed my sister's murderer in the past at the first chance I got, I would've if it wasn't for my team stopping me.''

''Kara's right. ''Added Diggle. ''It's Barry we're talking about. If he truly thought his gesture would save the world, save our lives and the lives of everyone on this planet, there's was no stopping him.''

''He wouldn't sacrifice himself for no reason. He didn't have a deathwish." Completed Oliver.

Taking deep, profound breath, Cisco was finally able to get his breathing under control and calm himself a little. Their arguments were logical and probable, but it somehow didn't make it feel that much better, it didn't dissolve the pit in his stomach or the knot in his throat.

''What happened? Why did he leave after we convinced him to stay?'' he finally found the strength to ask.

The weight of guilt slowly moved to Felicity who bit her lips, silent tears on her cheeks.

''I'm sorry Cisco, I'm the one who told him about the virus we worked on. I'm also the one who gave it to him.''

''He used it? He went inside to disable the ship's weapons, didn't he?'' Finally understood Cisco. At least, it wasn't a simple non-sense sacrifice if Barry thought he could turn the battle in their advantage, even if it didn't make him feel much better. ''So, it worked?''

''Well, they didn't fire.'' Shrugged Nate.

''Unless, they decided it wasn't worth it to keep on fighting since they had what they came for...'' Grimly said Oliver, regretting his sentence the second it came out of his mouth. Everyone deserved the thought that Barry died a hero, died using the virus and saving the world.

But, if the plan had worked, if Barry had found a way to escape their grip and go in the control room, why hasn't he came back? Did the hero died for nothing? They would probably never know now. Sadly nodding, Cisco closed his eyes in grief, suddenly seeing the faces of everyone at the lab. ''How am I going to tell everyone?''

Nobody had any answers about that.

''Ner…Cisco.'' Started Heatwave, breaking the silence, before correcting himself; in the light of what just happened, it just didn't seem appropriate to assign nicknames. ''You forgot your phone.''

Taking it back, first thing that came to his attention was two missing calls from Caitlin.

''You want me to go back to the lab with you?'' Asked Felicity, hanging in there, staying strong for her tech friend, pushing away her own grief and despair.

Cisco considered it and just as he was about to give her an answer, he froze at the voice that made itself heard from the entrance.

''You're all too busy celebrating to get my calls?'' Loudly, but cheerfully said Caitlin, approaching the group who went in total silence. She closed on Cisco, while scanning the rest of the group, searching for one person in particular. ''You'll need to give a look to the suit, the sensors stopped picking up reading, in fact, they're not sending any signal anymore. ''


	3. Hero's sacrifice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Barry walks in the Dominator's ship and try to neutralize their weapons

_‘Did I make the right call? What are everyone going to think of me?_ ’ Kept on thinking Barry as he slowly, but determinedly, made his way in the Dominators’ ship, closely flanked by two of the tall and odd looking aliens. When he first heard the deal the Dominators were offering; his life for the world, it wasn’t even a choice or a decision that needed to be debated about, it was a fair deal. After all, he deserved all the punishments in the world for everything he did, for destroying everyone’s life. He needed to be made accountable for destroying the lives of everyone he cared about and for everything else he did and couldn’t fix. This deal was the first shot he had at doing something right and making amends for awakening Caitlin’s powers and killing Dante. Cisco had been pretty clear that he was no hero, there was no denying that and things could only get better without him there.

Despite the pep talk they all gave him, despite Cisco’s try at making him feel like everything was back to normal, Barry couldn’t stop the pit in his stomach and the knot in his throat. Even if Barry tried his best in the last couple of hours to reflect on the conversation he had with the teams, it still didn't sound right, it didn't sound totally genuine. The hero felt like they just needed him on the battlefield in case the deal wouldn't work, why else would they suddenly all turn 180 degrees on the opinion they had on him, just like that? Just because they didn’t want Barry to die? After all the wrongs he’s done? Maybe it was just his overly strict mind being too hard on himself like always, and maybe, just maybe, the heroes didn't wish for his death... Not that it really mattered now, too late to turn back on this one-way trip.

When Felicity first mentioned the virus, Barry first thought was that maybe his death could actually mean something. It was a lie when he told Felicity he was getting out of this one, he was walking toward his death and he knew it, he was at peace with his decision. At least, he thought he was. The second he met with the Dominators, surrendering himself up, his heart picked up the pace; what was he doing? Did he really wanted to die? Was he doing the right thing? Panic suddenly made itself known, spreading all over the young man's body and mind, even if he was able to contain it inside, keeping a determined look on his features. No, he totally lied to himself; he didn’t want to die, not really, he wanted to come back and make things right with Cisco, with everyone, but his chances of getting out of this alive were slim to none…

Approaching the ship’s door with the guards on each side of him, he almost turned tail and ran away at the last moment, but he stopped himself. Everyone already hated him, what would they think if he was to run like a coward? He needed to see this through.

 _'I’m sorry…'_ He told himself, deeply thinking about everyone he was leaving behind,  everyone he knew and loved while his steps resonated with the ship’s floor as he entered it, looking at his feet. The silence struck him first, making quite the contrast with the heavy wind going on outside, the hero was definitely expecting more sounds and activities inside a space ship, an alien spaceship none the less.

A voice appeared in his head, a Dominator’s voice, pushing aside all his reflections, prompting him to raise his head and look up straight ahead to another alien standing right in front of him, looking a bit taller and larger than the rest of the aliens Barry has seen.

''We’ve been expecting you.''

''If you want to kill me, do it now.'' He answered back, trying to sound as brave as he could.

The two aliens standing on each side of him got just a bit closer, forcefully grabbing each of his arms, sending a wave of pain to the speedster who thought for a second he was about to end up with two broken limbs in an instant, which wouldn’t be great for the rest of his plan. A terrified thought popped into his mind, what if the Dominators could actually read his mind and his plan to sabotage their ship? That plan could be doomed from the start.

The one who spoke first came closer too, strongly grabbing the speedster’s chin, leaning closer to Barry's face with his own as the creature send more words in his head.

''You will die, but it's not going to be as easy and fast as you hoped.'' Letting go of the speedster, he turned his attention to the others Dominators, exchanging a couple of words in their language with them.

There it was, the one second of distraction, and maybe only one Barry would ever get, to try an escape and implement the plan. It was now or never, while his captors were busy listening to the instructions, whatever they were.  Instantly increasing the speed in his arms, vibrating them at high frequency, he built up the needed speed in the instant it took for the Dominators to notice something was happening. Before they could react, the speedster phased right out of their grip and sprinted away in the ship, one of his hands going to his pocket, digging out the weird-shaped alien technology Lila, illegally, confiscated from A.R.G.U.S. and gave to Felicity and Cisco, who were able to put the virus in. All he needed was to find what looked like a central computer. How hard could it be?

Zapping around, going from room to room, Barry couldn’t help but smile at the creatures loudly interacting with each other as a strident sound spread itself all over the ship, letting the group know they had a free enemy trying to make a run for it.

 _'Try and catch me.'_ He almost said out loud, even if they wouldn't be able to hear a thing as he was swiftly moving at super-speed.

There it was, the second Barry entered the last room, he just knew it was the right one as there was screens, guess you could call it like that, all over the wall of that circular room, with consoles under each and every one of them. Right in the middle of the room, there was the biggest screen of them all, weird symbols floating over that could be decrypted no matter which side of the console you were standing on. If it wasn’t clear already how important this room was, the high numbers of aliens walking around was definitely another big clue.

 _'Wish I took that Dominator’s class in college.'_ Joked Barry to himself, wishing he could read the entries and symbols, that would sure help accomplish his mission.

Sprinting in, he started to hit at super-speed every creature on the head, sending them crashing to the ground one by one, buying the seconds he needed to execute his plan. After long seconds of closely examining the central console, he finally found a hole in it that looked like it had the same form than the alien’s device he was holding in his hand.

 _'Please, be it.'_ He silently prayed, already working in his mind an escape plan. Would it be possible to go back where he entered the ship? What were the chances that the Dominators put the whole ship under a lockdown, stealing shut every exit? Was there any way out? Unless he could try and find a weapon like the one Oliver described using when he made his own escape, and blow his way out. Of course, that plan would only work if they weren’t in space already.

Barely a couple of seconds after connecting the device, new symbols appeared on the alien’s monitor, flashing in way brighter colors than the normal writing that had been there moments earlier. This had to be a good sign, right?

 _'Time to go, Barry.'_ He told himself, hopeful he was getting out of here now.

''Not so fast, Barry Allen.'' Growled a terrified voice in his head, sending him a cold shiver down his spine.

Swiftly turning around, Flash was about to make another try at slipping between the Dominator’s long fingers when something was abruptly attached to his wrist, like a cuff. 

 _'You can’t keep me!'_ He thought to himself, feeling like a wild horse determined at any price to get out of there and reclaim his freedom, instantly trying again his phasing trick. That’s when his whole mind and body froze. He couldn’t vibrate, he couldn’t run, or do anything power-related; whatever had been put on him was completely cutting off the speed force, making himself an easy target as reinforcements arrived, making him prisoner once more.

''Let me go!'' He angrily shouted.

''You ask to be our prisoner, you will remain like this.'' Was the last words he heard in his head before electricity spread from his wrist to the rest of his body, sending him crashing to the ground, not even hearing the cry of anguish he let go out of his lips before passing out.

 

*****FLASHFLASHFLASH*****

''My head…'' Grumbled Barry as he woke up with the hammer-in-the-head feeling, raising his hand to his forehead, massaging it before he even opened his eyes. He couldn’t even remember where he was or what was the last thing that happened to him.

When he finally succeeded in the hard task of lifting his tired eyelids, he found himself standing in a strange alien’s pod, exactly like the one Oliver described, sensors attached to his head, his Flash suit replaced by the prisoner outfit. To be honest, he expected to either end up in a cell or stuck in another weird reality, or maybe not wake up at all. Looking down on his wrists, he immediately noticed that his power-dampening cuff had been taking off. That was a surprise, he didn’t expected the Dominators to be this stupid, unless they didn’t know their virtual reality technology wasn’t working with a speedster. How long has he been out? Couple of hours? Days? More?

Hearing approaching footsteps, he zipped right next to the door, ready to attack anything about to come into the room. To say that the figure that appeared was the last one Barry expected to see there was an understatement.

''Cisco?!'' He exclaimed in shock.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let'S see who's confused, leave a comment :)
> 
> And just wanna say I somehow lost the final version of that chapter, so I'm sorry if there's more mistakes in that one then the others


	4. Five and a half months

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cisco is coming to Barry's rescue....or, is he?

''Shhh, do you want us to be spotted?'' Whispered Cisco, energetically shaking his hands with up and down movements, with a strange looking gun in his hand.

''What are you doing here?'' Said Barry, jumping in front of his friend and trying his best to be as quiet as possible.

''What does it look like? Rescuing you, come on.'' He whispered back. ''Sorry it took so long.''

''What happened? How long have I been out?'' Quietly asked Barry, closing and staying close to his friend who was peering in the hallway for any sign of the enemies.

''5 ½ months.'' Said Cisco without missing a beat, not even turning to look at his friend as he delivered the shocking news.

5 and a half months? Almost half a year lost, prisoner in the Dominator's ship? It struck him like a punch in the guts, Barry couldn't believe it, his eyes wide open in shock, his blood pumping fast. No…what happened to Central City during all that time? What happened with Savitar? Dr. Alchemy? What happened during that fight with the Dominators? Did the aliens leave the second they had their prisoner, or did they launched a strike against Earth's heroes anyway? Why did the creatures keep him on the ship for so long? Was the road back home long? If so, how the hell did Cisco find him and infiltrate the ship? It had to mean that, at least, there were survivors from this fight to maneuver the Waverider and organize a search and rescue. Did it took that long to track him down?

''Cisco…how…5 months…how's that even…'' He stuttered, his brain still unable to get up to speed.

''We can talk about it later, can you walk? Can you use your speed?''

''I…think so, yeah.'' Answered Barry, slightly raising and vibrating his right hand.

''Good, take this.'' As he spoke, Cisco hand over to his friend a weird looking watch, which technically wasn't a watch since it wasn't showing time. In fact, it wasn't showing anything at the moment, just a blank little screen on a metallic bracelet similar to Harry's wrist device.

''What is this?'' He asked, hesitantly taking it, his mind flashing for a moment to the cuff the Dominator put on his wrist when he was captured…5 months ago. 5 months. How was this even possible?

''Put it on, I'll explain later. ''

He could trust Cisco, right? When the Dominators attacked, the scientist was pretty mad at the young hero, but so much could've happened during all that time. The engineer couldn't still be mad at him 5 months, or could he? If he still was, Cisco wouldn't have risked everything to mount a rescue mission. Unless there was an unknown motive behind it.

''Let's go.'' Said the engineer, putting his foot forward, ready to get out, only to get brusquely interrupted when Barry grabbed his arm.

''Wait, I need to know what happened to everyone, where are they? Are they on the ship?'' Barry couldn't leave this place without knowing, making Cisco deeply sighed.

''Your…attempt failed, Central City is no more. The Dominator' ships destroyed everything. ''

''No…'' Mouthed Barry as he felt his legs going weak. ''Everyone? Caitlin? Iris? Joe? Oliver? The rest of them?''

It couldn't be happening, everyone couldn't be dead, they just…no. It wasn't happening, the pain was unbearable. Everything he did, giving himself up, planting the virus, everything had been for nothing, the Dominators still attacked and still won.

''I'm sorry. ''

 _'No…no…impossible, I did it. I succeeded.'_  Barry felt his heart breaking, felt like somehow it had been taken out of his chest and crushed. He had failed, everyone was dead because of what he did, because he ran back in time and attracted the Dominators. Because he ran away like a coward and surrendered himself instead of facing his friend. Because he wasn't there to defend everyone in that fight against the Dominators. Everything was on him.

''I'll explain the rest once we're out, but right now, put on the watch I just gave you, it will hide your Speedforce and make you invisible to their sensors. ''

''What the…'' It wasn't making any sense, since when did S.T.A.R. Labs had devices to hide the Speedforce? Hell, how could the Dominators track him like that in the first place? Barry had to be honest, at the moment, he couldn't really care or gather the necessary energy to think about it. Everyone was dead, everyone, except Cisco who found a way to survive. How's that for irony? Getting rescued by the one person who hated you the most...

Too emotionally exhausted to question it, Barry complied, tightly fixing the gadget, before striding in the tracks of the engineer as he entered back the hallway, the surprisingly empty hallways. Something was definitely up, but it wasn't worth thinking too much, the grief too unbearable to really focus. He barely even noticed Cisco pushing him inside a room, closing the door behind, if it was possible to call that thing a door, more like an organic looking panel sliding till the only way in to the room was completely blocked.

''Cisco, what are you…''

''We'll need your speed to get out of here.'' Cisco simply explained like it was the most obvious thing.

''What do I do?'' There were stuck in a big, mostly empty, circular room, no way out other than the exit the engineer just shut tight in their faces. Barry felt his survival, hero's, instincts screaming at him, something was way off about this whole situation, whatever was about to happen wasn't his way out.

''Just run really fast in circles and build up the Speedforce, the device I gave you to help you with that. ''

''Cisco…'' It wasn't right, but were Barry's instinct more trustworthy than Cisco's word? After everything that happened, someone needed to start trusting the other one again and Barry just knew he needed to be that person.

''I'll explain the rest later, go!'' Just as Barry was leaning forward, stretching his legs and balancing his weight on each of them, like a sprinter about to dash, he heard one last instruction. ''Oh and…you might feel weird, but just don't slow down.''

Let's go! The hero dashed forward at full speed like a thoroughbred leaving the starting gates, making the full turn of the green room before Cisco even had the chance to blink, than another turn, and another and…the more the speedster kept on running, the more he felt off, getting weaker and even, sick? He remembered that feeling, he had it before, when…It was so far in his memory, yet so close.

That's it, it was feeling exactly like the time Zoom took his powers and now he was definitely losing speed exponentially! Cisco tricked him. Gasping in sudden shock and surprise, the speedster stumbled badly, sending his whole body crashing and rolling on the ground until he finally stopped close to where Cisco was standing. It was at this moment that the panel slided, letting in one of the Dominator. The creature walked right next to Cisco who didn't even flinched at the intrusion.

''Cis…co…what are…'' Mouthed Barry, with great difficulty, as his friend, or the person who used to be his friend, closed on him and crouched down to pick up the watch, no emotions in his eyes, not even bothering to look at the fallen speedster shifting in pain on the ground. ''Why?'' Tried again Barry, weakly, not getting any more answer.

Going back up, Cisco took the item right back to the Dominator, carefully handling and handing it over like he was manipulating some rare and powerful artefact.

''There you have it, all of the speedster's powers. With this, your clone will be able to harness the power to time travel.''

''Good.'' The answer resonated in both Cisco and Barry's head as the creature took the item.

''You have what you wanted, now release the prisoners, my friends, that was the deal.''

''What about that one?'' Nodded the Dominator toward the fallen hero.

''He killed my brother, he deserved to die.''

''I never said the others were going to be released alive…''

Before Cisco could protest, the alien abruptly took his head, snapping it broken in a sickening cracking sound, leaving the limp body crumple to the floor. The thumb it created gave Barry one last burst of energy to scream at the top of his lung, eyes wide open in horror.

''CISCO! NO!''

Adrenaline left him as his enemy slowly made his way toward his powerless body, consciousness leaving before the Dominator was close enough to touch him and do whatever the hell he was planning to do.

 


	5. Ruins

The next time Barry woke up, it was to the sound of his throbbing heartbeat resonating in his ears, his chest ached with the intensity of it, cold shiver of sheer fear in his mind, only rivalling with the despair in his heart. Was everyone really dead? Why was he alive right now?

Unless…what if what happened wasn't real? What if when he woke up, it was all in his mind, but instead of living in a paradise he was sent in a nightmarish dream and all it took to get him out of this world was the death of his friend. He needed to get out of that ship and now, before the Dominators would realize he was up. How long did he have until the room would be filled with Aliens? How long had he been out? There's no way he's been out for 5 months. Unless it has…?

The one thing similar from the last time he woke up was the absence, once again, of the power dampening bracelet.

''You can do it, Barry.'' He encouraged himself.

Getting out of the pod, he reached for the door once more, hiding on the side of it the second he heard footsteps, exactly like the last time, was this Cisco coming back? At least, if it was his tech friend, that would confirm that Cisco was still alive, or at least, that he didn't die selling him to the invaders. Unless...he was trapped in some kind of  _Groundhog Day_  situation?

The speedster was almost taken back when the figure that came out was not Cisco, but the Dominator who was giving orders around when he first entered the ship. Not wasting any time, Barry got his legs moving under him, turning around his enemy faster and faster, accumulating as much energy as he could, trapping the Dominator in a circle of yellow lighting just before releasing his lightning strike, hitting the target on the first try, sending the creature to the ground.

Slowly and carefully approaching the alien, Barry noticed that it wasn't completely out, these things were inexorable. ''How do I leave this place?''

''There's nothing left for you out there.'' Told the creepy voice in his head. ''All and everyone you cared about are gone.''

''You're wrong.'' Growled Barry, wanting to hear none of this. ''I stopped your plan.'' Gaining electricity in his arm he punched his enemy as hard as possible on the head, knocking it down before the voice could reach his head once again, the creature was just trying to play with his mind.

Now, it was time to find a way back to where he belonged, with his friends and family, he was coming back to fix everything. Sprinting out of the room, he started looking for his way back to the control room, hoping to somehow find a way to turn the ship back to Earth. Something was off, there wasn't enough aliens in the hallway, where were they? What made the speedster finally stop in his run wasn't him reaching his goal, it was when he found himself next to the first window he came across in this ship.

''Oh my…'' Frozen in shock, Barry couldn't finish his sentence, as he looked outside, sure of two things. First observation being that they never even left Earth, they've been cloaked the whole time. And the second…

*****FLASHFLASHFLASH*****

''Are you sure about this? I can tell them.'' Proposed Caitlin as they stopped in the hallway right outside the cortex to try and summon the strength needed to announce Barry's fate to the rest of the team.

Head low, Cisco slightly shook his head in negation, answering with shaking lips.

''No, it's my fault, I need to be the one who tell them.''

''Cisco…'' She badly wished she could do, say, something to reassure him, make him feel better, but there was nothing that could change their situation.

It wasn't really Cisco's fault, no matter how harsh he's been on his speedster friend in the last couple of days, Barry never would've done something like that for that sole reason. There was no doubt in her mind that no one was going to blame Cisco, nobody but the man himself. Hopefully, with time, Cisco will see that too. In the meanwhile, they were all going to need each other to make it through this.

The engineer took a very deep breath, gathering his strength, helped with the supporting hand on his back before making his first steps in the cortex, where everyone was waiting for their teammates to come back, everyone, Iris, Wally, Joe and H.R. It was with radiating joy that Iris came rushing the second she saw her two friends entering the room.

''Welcome back! You did it!'' She cheered, smiling from ear to ear.

''Yeah, great job on getting them to retreat.'' Added Iris' brother.

Instead of smiling, Cisco closed his fists and lowered his head a bit more, despite the smoothing hand going in circle in his back, trying to comfort him.

''Cisco?'' Asked Iris nervously, her joy falling off from her face, getting replaced by dread, the tear she saw cascading down the engineer's cheek and down to the cortex floor only confirmed her fear.

''No….no.'' She whispered, brokenly, backing up a couple of steps only stopping when she stumbled on her father, her hand rising to her mouth.

''Caitlin?'' Asked Joe, his face falling apart in horror and pain, directing his attention to the young woman behind when it proved Cisco wasn't going to be able to form any word anytime soon, helplessly sobbing .

''Barry's…he…went on-board the Dominators' ship, gave himself up, sacrificed himself, to keep us all safe.''

''…my fault. '' Sobbed Cisco.

''Cisco…'' Courageously wiping her tears obscuring her vision, Iris got out of her father's grip and covered the remaining distance between herself and the young man, in order to wrap her arms around him. ''It's…'' All she wanted to say was that everything was going to be ok, but she couldn't make the words get out of her shaking lips, it was a lie, nothing was going to be ok, all she could do was break down and cry with him. Caitlin closed on them and wrapped her own arms against the two of them, everyone finding the strength in the others.

They stayed like that for the longest of time. Hanging on each other for their own sanity.

''How do we know he's really gone?'' Suddenly said Wally's voice, breaking the silence. ''Didn't the Aliens wanted him alive?''

''Wally…'' Sighed Iris, breaking the hug, not wanting to give herself up to false hopes.

''How long has it been since Barry went against them? Hours? Less? Have you seen a body? We can't just give up on him just like that! Did these creatures ever say anything about killing him?''

The hero's sacrifice was noble and Wally had nothing but admiration for the courage it took to go right in the enemy's arms unknowing his fate, but it was making him angry inside to see everyone grieving and giving up without trying, it reminded him of when everyone was ready to let Joe stay captive of Zolomon on Earth 2.

''Wally…'' Slowly started Caitlin, approaching the young man, trying not to look at Joe's face as the Detective was on the fence about what he wanted to believe and what was even possible.

''Were some of your friends coming from a space ship? Why can't they rescue Barry? What about Supergirl? There's gotta be a way to do something, anything.''

''It's not as simple, Wally, all the ships are gone, Lila confirmed it.'' Quickly answered back the doctor, a bit too quickly, feeling a bit more uncertain with every word; Wally had a point

''Did they even tried?'' Said the youngest West immediately, a bit louder than what he intended. ''Maybe I've seen too much sci-fi, what if they have a way to hide themselves from us? How do we know they're all gone? Or that they're out of reach?''

Sniffing and wiping his tears away, Cisco walked next to Caitlin before she could say anything else, he was done mopping

''Wally's right, we can't give up on Barry like that, he never would give up on any of us.''

Turning around to look for support, he found what he was looking for pretty quickly, as Caitlin and Iris, both girls smiling with a renewed determination, nodding at him as Joe closed on the group, his voice finally gathering the strength back to say something.

''Let's get my son home.''

*****FLASHFLASHFLASH*****

_'Oh no...'_

Shock wasn't a good enough word to describe what the young speedster was feeling, he wasn't even sure if there even was such a word, or maybe it was just because his brain had short circuited after witnessing the scene before him; Central City was gone. Or, mostly gone. Everything was in ruins; streets clear of any signs of life; buildings collapsed, debris littered the roads.

What happened earlier, was it a dream or this was the dream? Unless he was stuck in the same reality…or neither, maybe what happened with Cisco selling him out and dying, was all completely real. What was true? What wasn't? Only one way to find out; he needed to get back to S.T.A.R. and get some answers. That was if anyone was still alive to question.


	6. One left standing

Barely moments later, the speedster flashed in his prisoner suit in the lab, or at least what used to be S.T.A.R. Labs. Like the rest of the city, it was barely a shell of what it used to be. While the building was thankfully still standing, it hadn't been used as a base of operation for a very, very long time. This much was clear. There was dust on everything; on the ground, on every piece equipment. Every window he found was broken in pieces, laying all around.

''No, no...what happened here?''

Was anyone left even alive? Despite the elevator being out of service, no real surprise there, Barry managed to make his way into the cortex using the stairs, only to find everything in pretty much the same mess than the rest of the building. Lots of equipment seemed to have been missing, hard to tell if it was because the team took everything with them or if it was the result of someone breaking in. How long has it been since he surrendered himself to the Dominators? Waking up for the second time in the pods, he sure hoped that everything that happened with Cisco was just a dream, an illusion created by the Aliens to keep him busy while searching his mind, but there's no way for this amount of dust to accumulate in hours or days. Whatever happened here it took place months ago, at the very least, maybe more.

Was there any survivor after the battle with the aliens? Anyone he knew? Anyone in the whole city? What about the other cities around? Barry felt his limbs starting to shake under the shock as the adrenaline rush his body produced when he escaped was leaving his body. His mind was going blank, not even realizing he was walking straight to what used to be the med bay; maybe his unconscious mind felt attracted to the place that used to bring him comfort, the place that used to heal his wounds. The second he passed the limit of the room, his whole body crashed, sending him on his knees, sobbing, his hands clenching on the dusty ground.

Barry suddenly stopped his movements as he felt something under his hands, something that wasn't dust. Wiping his tears away, he turned his attention to his hands, toward a pile of paper under the grime. Dusting off his finding, Barry found himself holding an old and damaged newspaper, yellowed by time a long time ago, making it hard to decrypt anything other than the title:

''City still reco..ring from t…aliens attac…: evacuation …t…rdered''

It was dated from March 2019, over 2 years after the attack. What was the date now? How long has he slept? Everything was clear; he failed them all, each and every person he cared about, he left them all to die when he gave himself up for nothing. Step sounds coming from the hallway made him sharply turn around and rise on his feet in an instant. Who could it be in this ghost town?

When the figure, a woman dressed in black with an eye patch on her left eye, entered the cortex and came into view, Barry gasped at the sight; he knew who it was despite the noticeable differences.

''Caitlin.'' He whispered in shock.

His old friend looked definitely rougher; her hair were barely touching her shoulders and the only unhidden part of her face was covered in scars. She entered the room holding an odd looking assault weapon directed at the speedster. As she intensively stared at the person standing, she presented no sign of softening, or even no sign of recognition.

''What are you doing here?'' She harshly inquired.

''Cait, it's me.'' Said Barry, softly, getting closer.

''You're supposed to be dead.''

Oh well, at least she recognized him, but there were no relief to see that Barry was still alive, quite the contrary, she seemed disappointed, maybe even angry at it.

''Don't come closer.'' She added coldly, still pointing her weapon at him. ''What happened?''

What happened to him? What the hell happened here instead? Why was he being treated like an enemy? The speedster did immobilized himself a couple of meters away, keeping a safe distance, not wanting to test if that unknown weapon could take down speedster or not.

''Cait, what's going on? The last thing I remember was turning myself to the Dominators, to save all of you.''

Caitlin scoffed contemptuously before deciding to start on her explanation: ''Quite the hero, thanks to your noble sacrifice, you weren't there to help us when the Dominators launched their attack. They killed half of our team, took the other half. Cisco and I were the only ones who managed to get away. You did this.''

Barry shook his head in denial, it wasn't true, it couldn't be, he couldn't be responsible for the death of everyone, for the death of so many innocent lives. All because he gave himself up. Hell, all because he created Flashpoint. No wonder Caitlin hated him. Where were the rest of his friends? Cisco? What about the other ones Cailtin just said had also been taken prisoner?

''Where's Cisco? ''

''After over 5 years, the Dominators finally made contact again, ready to release their prisoners in exchange of our help to steal your abilities, something they couldn't find a way to do on their own. Cisco went in there to make the exchange. He was supposed to join me here after it was done. I sent my last friend in there and you're the one thing I got back.'' For a second, there was almost sadness and emotions that could be heard in the doctor's voice, but it was soon overshadowed by the clear hatred she had toward the speedster.

For the second time in the same half an hour, Barry felt himself going weak again. 5 years? Cisco went inside the ship to throw him under the bus? Was he really dreaming the first time, inside the Dominator ship, or it was real. Was all of it real? Everything added up, except for the part about being 5 months instead of 5 years, unless he misheard it the first time. What about now? Barry felt like he was losing his mind, he couldn't even tell what was real, what wasn't. What was he supposed to say now? That he witnessed Cisco getting brutally murdered and the Dominators didn't keep their end of the bargain?

''Lower your weapon, we'll figure this out. Together.'' He tried, as gently as he could. ''We're all that remained. '' He was barely holding it together at that last part, he couldn't go on his own after destroying everything. ''Please Caitlin.''

Sadly, his speech didn't seemed to have any effect.

''Don't you think you've done enough?'' She said just as coldly as before, except, she did lowered her weapon and Barry instantly sighed in relief. ''But, you are right on one thing; we are the only ones remaining.''

Extending his arm and hand forward, Barry offered to take the weapon from her and for one second, it looked like she would do it, but at the last second, she swiftly turned it against herself, pressing the trigger before the speedster had time to realize what was about to happen.

''NO!'' He screamed the moment he saw her fingers starting to press the trigger, trying speeding toward. But, before he could even touch his friend, a powerful energy blast left the weapon, hitting her straight in the head and sending Caitlin's limp body fell to the ground. She was death before her body even connected with the cold hard floor.

''No…'' Sobbed Barry as he barely had time to grab his friend's body before the doctor's head touched the hard ground. He was truly all alone now; everyone he ever loved was gone; either killed by the Dominators or preferring death over having to live with him.

*****FLASHFLASHFLASH*****

''Just, find him.'' Said Iris, as Cisco was finalizing his final check-up to make sure he had everything he would potentially need aboard the Waverider to search for their missing friend and the Dominators' ships.

The Waverider could cloak and hide itself, so who's to say the Dominators' ships couldn't do the same thing? There were chances one could still be around and hopefully the one ship that had Barry on board. While chances of one ship still being in orbit, or even, still somewhere on Earth, were low, it was worth the try. They owed it to Barry, they weren't going to give up on Barry without trying everything they could think of. Cisco hurriedly contacted the Legends before they left 2016, asking permission to join them on their ship and help scan for any sign of the Aliens.

''We're ready.'' Said Nate's voice as he entered cortex, making everyone turn to look at him. ''The ship is on the roof.''

''I'm coming.'' Answered Cisco, heading toward Citizen Steel who was already turning around to lead the way. Cisco stopped for one moment in his movement, slightly turning around to look straight at Iris, realizing he hadn't answered her question. ''We will.''

On these words, he turned on his heels again, almost crashing into Nate who had immobilized himself before hitting the female figure who appeared at the turn of the hallway; Kara Denvers.

''Do you need my help?'' She instantly inquired, not wasting time with small talk. ''I need to do something.''

''The second we need you, we'll let you know.'' Assured Cisco, putting a comforting hand on her arm.

*****FLASHFLASHFLASH*****

Letting go of his friend's body, the only thing that came into Barry's mind was _'run',_  run as fast and as far as he could from the pain. Sprinting out into the ruined streets, he couldn't find a single living soul, no matter how much he ran. All he had right now were his thoughts and the tears burning in his eyes. This couldn't be happening, he had to make the pain stop, at any cost. He just needed everything to stop.

What if, just what if, it was all a dream? A fake reality? If it was, maybe there was a way out; people do say that if you die in a dream, you wake up, right? It was the only possibility Barry could think of at the moment and maybe it was the only way out. To be fair, at this point, the speedster was in too much pain to care if it was real or not, it was the only way to end the pain, either way, it was a win-win situation.


	7. Fighting the good fight

''Even if we do find the ship, what good will it do? You want to infiltrate it?'' Seriously asked Nate as he was staying behind, carefully observing Cisco and Jefferson working together on Gideon's system.

''One problem at the time.'' Answered Jax as he slid himself on his back under the main computer, almost completely disappearing under it.

''Why would the Dominators even stay here, considering they have what they came for?'' Added Nate, trying to stay realistic.

''If we're lucky, the virus I created didn't only disabled their weapons, but also messed up with some of the other systems too.'' Theorized Cisco, not even looking up from his tablet, even if he knew that until they actually find a cloaked ship, it was all hypothetical.

''If we find them, I'm suggesting firing warning shots.'' Suggested Stein who was also watching the scene, following the conversation.

''Suggesting not to give them too many warning shot if you want Red alive.'' Grunted Mick, sitting in the back room, feet on the table, and halfway through his beer.

For one second there, Cisco took his eyes off his work to glance at Rory, he never thought he would live the day where he actually was in agreement with that man. Even if the words hadn't been said in the most caring way, he had a point; they would need to be careful to neutralize the Dominators without destroying it with Barry possibly on board.

''That should do it.'' Said Jax, pulling himself out from under the computer and back on his feet. ''Gideon, can you scan around and tell us if there's any sign of hidden Dominators ship around?''

Hard to tell how long they all waited for the computer to analyze the new inputs in her system and used them to scan around, but it sure felt like an eternity.

''Guys! I think we have a hit!'' Exclaimed Sara before Gideon could ever answer the question directed at her.

There it was, around Earth's orbit, the biggest one of the enemy's ships, sitting still in space and staying hidden from all views and traditional radars. All of them, except the newly modified version from the Legends' vessels. Time to get Barry back.

''Gideon.'' Started Sara, gaining the computer's attention. ''Prepare a course on that location and scan that ship for weaknesses to target; we're not letting them go anywhere 'til Barry is back with us.''

''Course planed, Captain, weapons should be ready to fire by the time we arrive at weapons' range.''

*****FLASHFLASHFLASH*****

Barry looked down at the street, hundreds of feet lower, as he was standing at the top of the tallest, still standing, building he could find in the ruins of Central City. Just two, three top, steps to make before he would find himself over the edge and inevitably attracted to his death by gravity. Making one step forward, Barry shivered, getting cold feet over his plan. Was this really a dream?

The more he thought about his friends, about their decision to sell him to the Dominators and the hatred they had toward him, the more it seemed to make sense. Why wouldn't they despise him? After everything he did, after messing with their life, after killing Dante and giving Caitlin her cold powers? It was without mentioning killing baby Sara and every other life he destroyed. Caitlin and Cisco had every right to feel the way they were feeling. What if it was all real? Was he really ready to fall down and die, even if, deep down, he deserved it?

''Just one step and everything will be over.'' Said the speedster out loud to himself. ''Just one more step.''

Barry took the deepest breath he ever did, closing his eyes and clenching his shaking hands. One way or another, this reality was going to end in a moment. If it was real, it would make the pain stop and if it wasn't, he was about to wake up.

''I'm so sorry, everyone…for everything.'' He whispered before stretching his leg, taking it over the edge and the void, his next breath suddenly cut short before it reached his mouth as he plunged down.

Next thing he knew, way before he could hit the ground, he wasn't falling anymore, he was waking up gasping in a Dominator's pod.

''NO! No no no! DAMMIT'' Screamed Barry in frustration, punching his pod hard enough to send pain resonating in his whole arm. He was almost out, he almost found a way out of this nightmare and there he was, back to square one. These damn aliens must've found out what he was planning to do; they knew what he was attempting and they stopped it before he reached the ground, sending him straight into another dimension, another dream world designed to keep him trapped.

But, there was one good thing coming out of this; now he knew what to do. The Dominators switched his reality because he was about to wake up, to correct this he just needed to find a sure way to die and do it quick. Struggling out of the pod, an explosion almost caused Barry to lose balance as he struggled to remain on his feet. A group of Dominators rushed passed the opening of the room without giving any attention to their prisoner, hurriedly communicating instructions between them. Time to get out of there. Making sure he was free once more of the power dampening bracelet, Barry approached the door, catching himself on the wall as another explosion made itself heard, accompanied by the shaking ground.

Straightening himself again, the speedster rushed out of the room, leaving yellow lighting in his trail and only stopping to glance at the window he found in the other reality. All it took was one quick look to realize that this time, they weren't on Earth, or at least not on the planet's surface; they were in space.

 _'That's it!'_  He thought.  _'That's how I can die and wake up!'_

If the Dominator ships was in a middle of a battle, maybe Barry could give a hand and sabotage the ship, 'til it explode, or crash, whatever would come first.

*****FLASHFLASHFLASH*****

''Careful, we don't want to destroy it!'' Reminded Cisco, pressing his hands against Sara's captain chair after the Waverider fired for the third time at the enemy ship. If Barry was indeed on board of that one, they couldn't risk accidently destroying it.

''We can't let them get away.'' She answered, grinding her teeth. ''Gideon, I thought you were supposed to disable their engine.''

''I am trying, Captain.'' Said the computer as her virtual blue head manifested itself. ''My information on these types of ships are limited, but I believe we managed to complete the objective. ''

''On the bright side, they didn't try to fire at us yet, thanks to your virus Mr. Ramon.'' Said Stein, bringing his observations to the mix.

''Well, if they are dead in the water, maybe we can try to communicate with them'' Added Jax.

''On it. Gideon, can you open a channel to broadcast a message?'' Inquired Sara, already mentally preparing her message. The second she got the confirmation by the supercomputer that it was ready, she straightened her back in the chair and started talking with all the authority she possessed. ''This is Captain Sara Lance sending a message to anyone listening on the Dominator ship; we demand you to release your prisoner to us within the next half-hour or we'll have no choice but to open fire on you and destroy your ship.''

Sara looked around at her crew as they all anxiously listened to the statics that was answering them.

''If you give us back Barry Allen, we promise to leave you be. You have my words. '' Tried Sara again.

''Are you sure they can hear us?'' Asked Cisco.

He barely had time to finish his sentence that a bright light illuminated the front of the Dominator spaceship. Another one followed seconds later.

''Gideon? What was that?'' Inquired Nate to the computer.

''It seem like there was additional explosions inside the ship.'' Calmly answered Gideon, stating facts, completely unaffected by the anxiety rising among everyone around. ''It seem like more systems are being compromised.''

''Dammit, we needed to be more careful.'' Growled Cisco, anger rising alongside his panic.

''I don't think we did this.'' Said Sara, beating Gideon to it, something wasn't adding up. Their attacks shouldn't be causing more damages minutes after the first hit, something else was amiss. Either way, they needed to think fast and act if they wanted to rescue Barry.

*****FLASHFLASHFLASH*****

It was an exhilarating feeling to just run and send lightning all around, into every system and control he could find, dodging weapon fires coming from everywhere. Half of the Dominators crew seemed to worry about getting Barry back under control while the other half was too busy panicking over the new damages he was creating. The hit Flash received in the shoulder was burning like hell and Barry could barely even lift his left arm anymore, but he didn't really care at the moment, the pain was going to leave the second he would be out of this dream.

Grunting against the ache, Barry sprinted out of the room, heading straight for the control room, pushing aside the pain to hit and destroy everything he could. It wasn't long before one of his attack caused just as much damage as he hoped, creating a powerful explosion that sent him, and everyone around, flying all across the room. Barry grunted as his head and hurt shoulder connected with the wall.

 _'I'm coming home, I'm going to wake up.'_  He thought, fighting to stay conscious.

*****FLASHFLASHFLASH*****

''Captain, the other ship is going down.'' Stated Gideon, still clear of all emotions, as the enemy ship, indeed, started losing his position in orbit, attracted by the planet's gravity.


	8. Coming Home

''What are we going to do?'' Panicked Cisco, helplessly looking in horror the Dominator's ship slowly, but surely going down. ''Can't you use the ship's tracker to keep it away from Earth? Long enough to get inside?'' He quickly inquired to Sara.

''There's no time for that, Cisco, and even if there was this ship is way too big to get any grip on it.'' Answered the Captain, raising her voice and quickening the speed of her words in the emergency of the situation.

''We have to do _something_. '' Pressed Stein. They didn't do all of this only to lose Barry now. ''We sh-''

''Get us in contact with S.T.A.R. Lab, now!'' Suddenly ordered Cisco, interrupting his friend.

''On it.'' Instantly said Sara without debating or questioning the order, trusting that whatever idea Cisco just came up with was a good one. Every second was counting now. ''You can speak up now.'' She said as she pressed another button in a hurry.

''Kara, you there?'' Asked the engineer, praying Supergirl stayed right where they left her; at the lab.

Before they could confirm or not if the Girl of Steel was indeed there, Caitlin's voice made itself heard, clearly nervous about the whole situation:

''Cisco, the satellite is picking up the ship closing down on Earth again and closing fast.''

''What's happening?'' Answered Kara, taking over and already on high alert, picking up the sense of emergency.

''Remember when we said we would call you if needed? Well-'' He continued without even giving the heroine one second or two to answer the question. ''We need you now. The dominator's ship is crashing. Can-''

''Ready to go.'' Even over the distance and the microphone, determination could be heard all over, in every single word.

''The ship is heading toward Antarctica.'' Said Gideon's computer voice, answering the upcoming question before it could come out of anyone's mouth.

Even everyone in the Waverider could hear the whoosh sound as Kara sprinted out, taking off high the moment she was out of the lab and heading straight to this world's South Pole.

 _'Please Barry, be ok, please Barry, please.'_ Repeated Kara to herself, again and again all the way to the ice continent, making it in a record time.

While the cold didn't usually affect the Girl of Steel, she still found herself shivering the moment she spotted her target, despite the snowstorm going on. The storm wasn't big enough to hide the large, profound and long trail in the snow created by the crashing ship 'til it went to a complete stop in this snow desert.

''Oh no.'' She whispered, flying over the newly crashed, still smoking, alien spaceship.

Delicately landing on her feet barely a couple of feet away, she walked the remaining distance separating herself from the broken, crushed, spacecraft. Was there any survivor at all? Gathering herself and gaining control over her fear that she might be too late, Supergirl switched to x-ray vision. All there was to see was dead corpses of aliens under debris, all over. Scanning around, she finally spotted something different, something still emanating heat, something still alive, more like someone judging from small, none-Dominator form.

''Barry!'' She exclaimed with a renewed hope.

Using her heat vision she cut open a breach on the side of the carcass, barely wide enough for her to sneak inside, close to her target. Walking over, under and around every debris and death aliens Kara quickly made her way to the main control room, full of broken pieces of equipments, dead aliens and fallen pieces of the walls covering up the floor.

''Barry? Can you hear me?''

Carefully looking around, she finally spotted what she was looking for; a pair of legs appearing from under a particularly big piece of equipment. Effortlessly, Supergirl grabbed it and threw it away to finally reveal the face she, and everyone else, thought they would never see again. Taking in the state the Scarlett Speedster was in, she couldn't hold in the gasp of horror; he didn't look good at all between the large gash going down from his forehead to his cheek, his clearly broken left arm, the open fracture of his left knee, the bone popping out of his prisoner outfit, an outfit torn in multiple places, and a badly burned shoulder. It was without counting the possible and even more dangerous wounds under the surface that the Girl of Steel couldn't see right now.

''Oh god, Barry.'' She exclaimed, searching in her ear for her communication device, needing to tell the team about the good news, of finding the speedster alive, and the bad one about his condition...only to realize she left it at the lab in her hurry to leave for the rescue.

''We're going home, hang in there.'' She said, softly apologizing under her breath when she started lifting him in her arms, foreseeing the additional pain she was about to cause by moving him.

Sure enough, the second she started moving the speedster, the body in her arms came back to life, violently moving his head to the right, screaming in agony.

''It's gonna be over soon, hang on.'' She told him, unsure if he was able to hear or understand anything she was saying, but she had no choice to move him; it would take way, way too long for any other kind of rescue to arrive at that place.

The next second, she was back in the sky, rushing to Central City.

*****FLASHFLASHFLASH*****

Something was different, something was off this time, Barry could tell the instant they hit the ground. The pain was intense, too intense. Was he supposed to suffer this much in this virtual reality? He was supposed to die in that dream, to die in the crash and finally wake up in the real word. What went wrong? Every task was a struggle, even opening his eyes proved to be an impossible task. The only sure thing was that they stopped moving and the silence was now surrounding him, wherever he was. Was he in a new world? No, he would've awoken in the pod again if that was the case.

Barry wanted to move, get away, but something was pressing down on him, keeping him immobilize on…whatever he was lying on. Trying to move his leg around, a wave of agony was sent in his whole body and consciousness almost left him, but he hanged in there, needing to figure out what was happening. The only sensations he had now were the wetness covering his face and the overwhelming pain in his leg. What was that noise, did he just heard someone talking? Someone pronouncing his name? He wanted so badly to just open his eyes, but he just couldn't do it, the effort was just too great, he barely had enough energy to hang on to consciousness.

He needed to finish the job, he needed to find a way to really die to get out of this.

The pressure on his leg suddenly went away, but moments later, as soon as his suffering body started the move, everything went black and the speedster lost all notion of time.

What happened next was lost in a blur. Barry could feel his consciousness leaving him and coming again, before leaving him again…and coming back, drifting on and off for what felt like forever. There were hands touching him, probing him, needles and others unknown objects coming in contact and invading his unwilling body. Were the aliens doing experiences on him? Could the pain just stop? An hand went to his own. A hand, a human hand. It sure felt like one, how could It be?

 _'Of course, Barry, remember you're still trapped in an illusion.'_  He reminded himself.

He just wanted out. Tears started to fill his eyes, only to be wiped away by something, or someone else standing above the speedster. What was he supposed to do to get back to his world? Back to his reality, his friends?

''S…o…rr..y….'' He grossly sobbed, in a barely audible voice.

He never should've gone on that ship and leave everyone behind, he never should've changed the timeline and cause so much misery, the only thing he wanted now was to go home. Home. That was the only thought running in his mind, overtaking his brain while he started to lose all sensations in his limbs, the pain subsiding as sleep took over.

Impossible to tell how much time passed since he last woke up. The pain was still his constant companion, but it was much more endurable now as it wasn't overwhelming his other senses. Tending his ears, he closely listened to every sound, trying to spot if there was anyone close to him; he could distinguish people talking, but there were many feet away.

Slowly, inches by inches, Barry found the strength to lift his eyelids of his head turned to his right. First of all, he recognized he was back at S.T.A.R. Labs; in this new illusion world it wasn't destroyed. Second of all; there was a scalpel on the medical table, almost at arm's length. If he could just reach for it and end his life in this world, he was finally going to make it back to where he belongs.

''I'm coming home.'' He whispered, smiling.


	9. Forever a hero

It was with a shaking hand that Barry reached for the scalpel, doing his best to stay as silent as possible in order to avoid being heard by the people standing and talking in the cortex. The speedster was so close to touch his target, he just needed a couple more inches, something he could acquire by moving just a bit closer or straightening his body. The second the speedster tried shifting his body toward the edge of the bed, the pain instantly worsened all over, mainly in his knee and side. Unable to contain a particularly loud yell of pain, he caused what he wanted to avoid; the group of people in the cortex popping their head up before rushing to his side.

''Barry? Can you hear us?''

''You back with us?''

Caitlin. Cisco. The speedster instantly recognized their voice. What did they have in store for him this time? What kind of trap or betrayal was awaiting him? Barry wasn't about to stick around and find out.

''You're awake!'' Exclaimed Caitlin's voice when she saw the speedster's head slightly turning in her direction, reacting to her voice.

''Welcome back!'' Added Cisco, joyfully.

Oh gosh, that voice, it sounded so much like Caitlin and she almost sounded happy, even relieved, to see him awake. So did Cisco. At this moment, there was nothing in the world that Flash wanted more than to believe it, but no, he couldn't, his friends hated him for everything he did. It wasn't real.

 _'No, no...let me leave.'_ Panicked Barry, pushing the pain aside and giving one big push to his body to try and grab the medical instrument.

''Don't you dare try to get up!'' Growled the doctor when she understood what he was trying to do, or she thought she understood. The idea in her head about Barry's next move wasn't even close to what was really about to happen.

He succeeded, but not without losing his fragile balance and ungracefully falling on the ground, knocking down almost everything on the table at the same time.

''Barry!'' Shouted Iris' voice as the group stepped inside the room.

His whole team was there; Iris, Cisco, Caitlin and Joe, even Wally and H.R. were there. Except both men were standing in the back, just outside this already too crowded room, with many other people and heroes who helped in the fight against the Dominators. Not wasting any more second to identify who exactly was in the room, Barry grabbed the scalpel at Superspeed and started backing off against the wall like a trapped animal, dragging his extended left leg, immobilized in a pretty solid splint.

Without saying a word, as soon as his back hit the wall behind, he rose his weapon and pressed the sharp edge tip of the blade against his throat under the shocked eyes of his friends who all stopped moving when they realized what Barry was about to do.

''Barry, stop!'' Exclaimed Caitlin. ''What are you-''

''You're not real.'' Interrupted the speedster, wincing as he pressed harder and felt the blade breaking his skin, causing a drop of blood to run down his neck.

''Barry, buddy.'' Gently tried Cisco, kneeling down to be on the same level than his friend. ''I'm here, we're all here, it's real.''

The only result the engineer got was Barry rapidly shaking his head: ''No, no...it's just a trick. Not real. Don't move.''

The only goal Cisco had in mind as he rose his hands in the air was to show his good faith, that he didn't mean any harm. Sadly, the only result he got to witness was the speedster's breathing pattern increased and Barry tightening his grip on his weapon, like he was expecting an attack from Vibe. What the hell have these aliens done to him?

''I'm not going not hurt you. I'm your friend, remember?'' Tried the engineer again, hoping to jump start Barry's memories of what he said just before his friend gave himself up, the sentence that kept on repeating in Cisco's head: 'You're not a hero to me, you're my friend.'

''No.'' Instantly answered Barry, swallowing hard, before continuing with a shaky, tearful voice: ''You hate me, you want to give me to them. Want me to die. If I die in this nightmare, I'll wake up.''

Kneeling next to Cisco, Iris did her best to keep her rising panic inside and ignore the painful way her heart was pounding in her chest as she spoke up with the calmest and more reassuring voice she could find under these circumstances.

''Barry. Look at me. Look at my eyes.'' She paused while he finally complied, moving his head slightly but still keeping the scalpel firmly in place. ''It's all real, I can promise you that. We're all here and we all care about you. Whatever these aliens did to you, whatever they said, it's wasn't the truth. Cisco and the Legends rescued you, and Kara brought you back here. It's over.''

''Cisco rescued me?'' Repeated Barry with the weak voice of a child seeking reassurance, his tight grip on his weapon loosening a bit.

''Yes.'' She assured. ''And you're not about to wake up from a dream, you're about to kill yourself, for real.''

What if he was back, really back? The possibility was there and for the first time since waking up in the lab, moments ago, the speedsters allowed his mind to consider it. Looking behind Iris, Cisco and the rest of the group surrounded him, he glanced at all the heroes in the cortex, making a quick headcount. Everyone was there, alive and even looking worried for him. Whether or not this was the real world seemed irrelevant at the moment, because, right now, Barry wanted to stay. He wanted, needed desperately, for someone to care, for his friends to stop hating him over his mistakes.

''You all came for me?'' He asked with a shaky voice.

''Yeah we did.'' Confirmed Kara, speaking up for the rest of the group who nodded.

''Of course.'' Smiled Cisco. ''You're my friend, I wasn't going to leave you behind.

Slowly, but surely, the knife detached itself from the Flash's neck, moving away from the target as the arm holding the scalpel started to lower itself toward the ground.

''Cisco, I killed your brother. You hate me, you should hate me.''

Carefully, like he was approaching a frightened animal, Cisco moved one step forward, anxiously making sure that his movement didn't agitated the speedster further more. Seeing that Barry was staying in his calmer state of confusion, rather than full blown-out panic, he made another move.

''Barry, I'm sorry I was mad at you over what happened to my brother. I understand now that you didn't mean for this, for anything, to happen. You made a mistake, you realized it and only did what you thought was the right thing to correct it. I'm sorry it took me so long to see it.''

''Is this real?'' Asked Barry, in a desperate need for reassurance.

''Yeah, it is.'' Promised Cisco.

''Give us your weapon, Barry. We're all here and we're not going anywhere.'' Added Kara, walking behind Cisco and Iris, warmly smiling. ''Whatever these aliens did to you, it's over now.''

Overwhelmed by emotions, Barry swallowed hard and blinked rapidly, fighting off the tears as his grip was weakening even more. Looking up, he made eye contact with Cisco first, then Iris, Kara and the people in the back, one by one. The Dominators took his sanity and his confidence, he needed to get back on his feet and trust his instincts. Right now, these instincts were telling him he needed to trust his friends. Opening up his palm, he presented his weapon to Iris who carefully took it from him, handing it to the engineer next to her before crushing the speedster into the biggest hug she'd ever given him.

''It's ok, everything's ok now. You're ok.'' She just kept on repeating over and over again, for what felt like forever, the rest of the world forgotten to both of them. The only thing that mattered was the shaking, sobbing and exhausted hero hanging on to her like his life was depending on it.

It took many more hours for Barry to completely settle down and fell asleep in pure emotional and physical exhaustion, tightly holding Iris' hand as he drifted off.

While all the physical wounds disappeared within the next day or so, the psychological scars took way longer to heal. Way, way longer.

The following weeks were spent in the constant fear of waking up in these pods up to find out that the nightmare of the team abandoning him was real. Even now, months later, Barry would still wake up from time to time with the fear of being left all alone. As time kept on passing, as the speedster kept on fighting Savitar, his mind couldn't help but think that this just had to be a nightmare, that he was going to wake up.

It wasn't until he touched the Speed Force's representation of his mother that Barry really felt it, the connection with the source of his power. No matter how advanced the Dominator's technology was and how vivid their illusions were, there's just no way they could recreate that indescribable feeling. That was it, that was real. His team really rescued him and stopped him from killing himself, for real. Barry knew he was doing the right thing by leaving; saving the world once again, saving everyone he ever loved, but he couldn't help but feel this bittersweet taste in his mouth, thinking of all the moments he could've enjoyed instead of wondering if they were real. Was he ever going to see his friends and family ever again?

' _I'm so sorry._  ' He thought, as he forced a smile on his lips, needing to be strong.

Being a hero wasn't always about punching the bad guys, it involved taking the toughest choices and staying strong in the face of adversity. Being a hero meant smiling through the pain and giving everyone else the strength he didn't have himself. It was about making everyone believe everything was going to be ok, even when he was standing on the edge…That's exactly what Barry did at the last moment, because he was a hero. Behind each reassurance, each farewell he gave, his legs were shaking and his eyes were burning with tears; he just wanted for Cisco to find an alternative solution at the last minute that would allow him to stay with everyone, but he kept everything inside.

Why? Because that's what it takes to be a hero.

**The. END.**

**Author's Note:**

> What do you guys think of that start?

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [This is for the best I'm sorry](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11738601) by [WolfKomoki](https://archiveofourown.org/users/WolfKomoki/pseuds/WolfKomoki)




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